Mountains to Climb

“Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you. When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around and help the next one in line. Always stay humble and kind.”

- Tim McGraw-

Last weekend, Ralphy and I drove down to Albuquerque for Balloon Fiesta. It was the first time I’d gone since I was 14 and the first time I was ever able to attend the Balloon Glow. We woke up at 5:30, dressed for the cold (and wore far too many layers), and watched pretty floating objects for close to 5 hours. 

It wasn’t until I moved away from Albuquerque that I realized how much I missed Balloon Fiesta. Obviously, it wasn’t anything that I ever attended regularly but I always recognized that it was something special to be able to see the balloons on my way to school. However, I remember never being all that impressed by the balloons flying toward my high school. I remember being somewhat annoyed when a balloon would land on the soccer field and interrupt the school day for awhile. At the time, I could list off all the inconveniences of balloon fiesta: traffic was awful, you had to get up so early just to see the balloons, half the time the balloons didn’t even fly because of the wind, it was cold, and I could have gone on. It was the classic case of taking for granted what I already had.

In the time that led up to our trip to ABQ, I was constantly in awe of how excited I was about Balloon Fiesta. I couldn’t get out of my Thursday night class quick enough because I wanted to go home, pack, and get on the road right away. I was more than happy to wake up at 5:00am on Friday so we could make it to NM early. 

And it was all worth it.

Since moving to Denver a little over two months ago I find myself thinking that a lot. It was all worth it. On my way to work every morning I have a gorgeous view of the Rockies. And every morning I think of the song Humble and Kind: “I know you’ve got mountains to climb but always stay humble and kind.” Every mountain that I’ve climbed (and every mountain that someone has dragged me up) has led me to where I am today. 

Not my picture but it's what I see on my way to work

So often I get frustrated with school. Don’t get me wrong, I love every minute of it and I’m learning a ton…far more than I imagined I would. But Franciscan spoiled me; I never had to stand up for my beliefs. Heck, I never even had to explain my beliefs…what they are or why I believe what I do. Franciscan taught me how to be proud of my faith in an environment where it was safe to be proud of such a thing. A couple weeks ago in class somebody told me, “You’re just saying that because you’re Catholic.” He was right and initially I felt ashamed. But as I’ve been thinking about it, there is nothing wrong with saying something because I’m Catholic. That’s who I am. I have every right to be proud of it. I have every right to say something because of my faith and in defense of my faith. So no matter how many problems I have/had with Franciscan being a bubble on a hill, attending Franciscan was worth it. 

Also not my picture

Grad school is hard. Speaking in Spanish and getting over anxiety is hard. One of my classes is particularly intimidating and the fear of my advisor telling me, “You’re not cut out for a Masters’ program” is very, very real. It doesn’t help that it truly isn’t possible to keep up with reading for classes. I often have to remind myself that I lived in Spain and was able to communicate effectively for almost a year, that I’ve been around the language my whole life, that I’ve read books and written papers in Spanish and always been just fine. But sometimes all I can remember are the times I struggled during undergrad because there were still parts of the language I just didn’t get. I had to retake a test for History of the Language TWICE because I failed. My professor finally had to give it to me orally and practically walk me through it before I could even be halfway successful. I felt like I practically killed myself studying for it. But now I understand why. I see the fruits of studying and I am forever grateful for Dr. Descalzo’s compassion and patience with me. Now I realize it was all worth it.

What I really should be doing right now.

One of the best parts about being in Denver has been the transition from being 5000+ miles away from Ralph to being 15 miles away from him. I was lucky…the entire year that we were long distance, I never questioned the decision. We truly did take a leap of faith starting out a relationship without knowing for sure when/how we would see each other next. But we did know that we would see each other again and we knew how we felt about each other. That was enough. So we wrote letters and we FaceTimed at midnight or 6:00am or in the middle of the work day and every day we chose to love across oceans. It wasn’t always easy and I can’t say that I would want to do it again. But I can say that if we ever had to do it again, I would because it was all worth it.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I learned a lot from 500+ hot air balloons last weekend. And that even though it doesn’t seem it at the time, all the struggles, all the obstacles, and the bad days are so worth it when you find the joy, peace, comfort, and gratitude at the end of it all.