Home from Home

"If you give love and live long, you'll never be alone.

If you give love and live long, you'll always have a home."
-Roo Panes-

Ralph and I aren't the type to share a lot on social media--not necessarily on purpose, it's just not something we think of doing. I often write about him--I just don't share it. 

For those of you who don't know here's a little bit of our story:

We have known each other our whole lives; my uncle and his dad have been friends for close to 40 years. That same uncle is Ralph's godfather. I don't remember nor can I imagine my life without Ralph's family being a part of it (and I wouldn't have it any other way).

We went to the same high school but we didn't talk much. Mostly because my huge and life-long crush on him caused me to turn the other way every time I saw him lest I embarrass myself. We really lost touch in college; I went to Franciscan University in Ohio and he went to the University of New Mexico. My senior year of college he was in seminary. When I found out that he was going to seminary, I cried. Ugly cried.
In May of 2016 (after my graduation and after he discerned out of seminary) we ran into each other at the ordination of a mutual friend. Ralph asked me to get lunch with him and we talked for 5 hours!! Through Divine Intervention, Ralph was able to go to World Youth Day in Poland with my youth group in FL and from there, the rest is history.

August 2016 - Krakow, Poland

We spent the first year of our relationship long distance. Me in Spain, he in New Mexico. There were a lot of FaceTime calls, letters, and pictures sent back and forth. We missed each other a lot but we made it work because we chose to love across oceans.

October 2016

top: Ralph in Albuquerque

bottom: Me in Igualada

Even though Ralph was 5000 miles away, there's no way I would have made it in Spain without him. Every single morning he woke up and sent me a text (I was usually on my lunch break at that time). There was never a moment when I questioned the decision we had made and it was all because of Ralph. He loves without hesitation and without regret. He understands that love is strive and seeks to imitate Christ in all he does. When I was struggling the most in Spain and talked to him about it, Ralph's first response was "I'll pray for you." He did the best thing he could have possibly done for me. To love is to will the good of another. Ralph has taught me to do that even when it is difficult. He has taught me that the good of another is always rooted in God's Will, not our own. 

In the Office of Readings for Monday, August 20th the second reading was from a sermon by St. Bernard of Clairvaux in which he says:

"Love is sufficient of itself, it gives pleasure by itself and because of itself. It is its own merit, its own reward. Love looks for no cause outside itself, no effect beyond itself. Its profit lies in its practice. I love because I love, I love that I may love. Love is a great thing so long as it continually returns to its fountainhead, flows back to its source, always drawing from there the water which constantly replenishes it."

I was profoundly moved by this and the entire rest of the reading. Ralph is by no means a perfect man but he admits his faults and when he recognizes them--no matter what it may be--he turns to Christ.

We are made to love, we are made for Love. When our love is insufficient, we should turn to God for guidance. There is no way that we can attain perfect union with one another if we do not first strive for union with the One who created us. 

St. Bernard of Clairvaux

In the two years that Ralph and I have been together, I have learned that love is quiet and it is humble. Love seeks to join hearts so they can accompany one another on the journey towards Heaven. It is only when we submit ourselves truly to the Will of God that we are able to love sacrificially and unconditionally. 

Thank you, Ralph, for loving me as Christ loves the Church, and for teaching me how to love more honestly. "I left all that I knew for a love that I know....Some fresh air, open breeze, mild nights, wild days, wandering in wonder, pondering what wondering will do." Thank you for being my home from home.

I love you.

Please pray for us during our engagement!